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shadowofexistance's Journal



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9 entries this month
 

Losing My Identity...

07:05 Feb 19 2006
Times Read: 545


Do you ever get that feeling that you are losing yourself. I mean really losing who you are. I feel like i'm not me anymore. I use to be this one person that everyone enjoyed being around...then I got into a real bad relationship and I changed completely. I've become someone completely different. I've tried going back, but I don't know how. Everytime I think I'm close to being me again, something, something I don't even notice, happens and I change completely. I mean I do a complete 180. I don't realize that it happens until my Baby tells me about it. And when he does we ussually end up fight ing and I feel like it's all my fault. I hate fighting like we do. But I just can't help what I feel. I've gone from this really cool, wierd, outgoing, i'll tell you what i think, love to have fun person to this dark, depressed, scared, whiney, child. Have I really lost who I am? How do I get myself back.

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...My...Obssession...

06:24 Feb 17 2006
Times Read: 547


I've come to notice that I've got a massive obssession with these "...". I'm not sure why though. Maybe it's because they show continous thought. I'm not sure though.


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Been awhile...

08:22 Feb 16 2006
Times Read: 549


It's been awhile since I've been on here. finally fixed my myspace account. It's finally accurate. Go me...but anyway...I should be back. Lurking in the shadows as always...later...


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Been working.

03:56 Feb 09 2006
Times Read: 559


I haven't been around for awhile. You know how work is. I'm currently working on a new day dream to post. Not that I think anyone actually reads the journals. But oh well. Later.


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Well...

07:25 Feb 07 2006
Times Read: 563


I finshed adding my already written crap. So y'all won't have to suffer any more. Unless I get in the mood for mindless rants. Hurray for you. Anyway. I probably won't be on much. Not unless some unseen and bizzarre miracle happens. HAHA...doubt it. Later.


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Finally

20:07 Feb 05 2006
Times Read: 569


Well...i'm finally putting some of my crap poems on here. Yeah, I know they suck. And you probably won't them, but if they are that bad, then stop reading them. Anyway...I'm going back to what I was doing. Later. (Yeah I know. I use that word too much.)


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Are we afraid?

10:44 Feb 04 2006
Times Read: 574


These are my thoughts. If they offend you then I am sorry. But everyone is entitled to thier own opinion. And I do have an opinion!




It's sorta ironic how many dark personalities there are. It seems like there is nothing but pain, suffering and depression. No this isn't a moment of sentament. I seem to lack those. But any way. For all that darkness, have you noticed how we still hide in it. If you practice; you don't announce it. If are something, be it vampire, elf, faire, whatever; you don't tell anyone. It's sad that as many of us that there are we haven't entered into the next era. Now i'm not talking about world domination. I don't see why anyone would want control of this screw pot that we call society. I'm talking about being known. We out number the mortal, fleshy humans dramaticly. So why haven't we progressed? Are we just waiting for the right time. Are we scared of something? Or do we just don't care anymore? Before you comment on this next thing, remember; I am no friend of Christianity. But you must admit. They have a point when they say that we should never be ashamed by who or what we are, and that we should never stand by and let the world cast stones. So why are we waiting? Where's our next revolution.

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Oh glourious frickin day.

05:23 Feb 04 2006
Times Read: 576


Well...i'm back from work. It was fairly exciting. If consider udder and mass chaos exciting. I plan on putting some more horrible poems up tonight. Yeah. Don't I sound thrilled. Anyways...I'm off to do that.


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Just for giggles.

05:15 Feb 03 2006
Times Read: 582


Just for the simple fact of having one. It's midnight right now and I really have no clue what's going on. There's alot of stress right now, and I'm wasting energy trying to keep myself sane. Which is kinda funny since I lost my sanity when I turned 13. Though that was interesting day. This is no joke though. I turned 13 on a Friday the 13th with a Full moon and Lunar Eclipse. Maybe that's why my life's like it is. "Oh Goddess why? Why did you curse me from birth?" Oh...sorry. Nah. It's not that bad. I can deal. I've dealt with alot more. This is actually kinda mellow campared other stuff. But all in all, I can't really complain. This had made me who I am. Though coping with cravings has been entertaining. Believe me...retail and blood cravings does not mix. Anyway. I'm going to wonder around some more and see if I can confuse myself agian. Later.


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